Create It Herself

Serendipity

As some of you may know, my hometown of San Francisco has been overrun this weekend by the Outside Lands Festival.  Six stages, three days, many bands, and lots of people.  Although we live right across the street from the park, we haven't heard any of the music.

This morning, my husband and I decided to take a walk on the beach and away from the incoming concert-goer traffic.  We stopped at one of our favorite coffee shops, Java Beach.  What a wonderful surprise to find that they were hosting the La Playa Summer Block Party with a great line-up of surf bands:

 

• The TomorrowMen
• The Deadbeats
• Pollo Del Mar
• Graves Brothers Deluxe
• Meshuggah Beach Party

 

So there we sat, listening to great surf music, drinking our coffee, and watching the neighborhoods kids bounce away in the bounce house.  What did we pay?  About $10 for coffee and snacks.  Meanwhile, 10-20 blocks to the east, tens of thousands paid at least $80 for their day of music.  Am I knocking them?  Nope.  I just liked our day better

Parlor Games

Parlor game –noun

any game usually played indoors, esp. in the living room or parlor, as a word game or a quiz, requiring little or no physical activity.

[Origin: 1890–95 ] Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

This is such an old fashioned term. It brings to mind flounced dresses over hoop frames, and someone playing at a pianoforte. OK, it is time to stop watching Jane Austen Period Pieces.

In this time of technology, video games, reality TV, and connections via Twitter, it was nice to have an evening talking with my friends.

One of our long distance connections was travelling in from New Zealand. In order to bring everyone together we decided to have a Werewolf party. If you have never played Werewolf (or mafia), you can find the info here.

But, to be honest, it wasn’t the game that was important. It was the joy of having friends in our home, talking, laughing, plotting lynchings, and socializing. In the midst of it all I was hit with the realization of how rare this is in my life. Many of our gatherings are too big for meaningful conversation. Others, the drinking portion of the evening becomes the priority, so acting out becomes more important to our guests. Not to say that these things are bad, but they can get in the way of really talking and finding where these people are on their various paths.

Werewolf makes this even easier as, once you have been lynched by the villagers or killed by a werewolf; you cannot participate in the game. So these folks often go to the next room and talk amongst themselves. This time we had the added fun of the kids joining the game. It surprised me that they wanted to play with the grown-ups, but these two pre-adolescent boys really seemed to get into the spirit of the role playing. Though we did have some hurt feelings, but those were easily assuaged with revenge in later rounds.

I know schedules are tight, and free time has become an expensive commodity, but I really would like to suggest that you host an evening like this, soon. Just tell your guests to bring a beverage and a snack, and let the party happen around you. The warmth generated in the room will soon spread to your heart.

WTMI – Way Too Much Information

I know that Brangelina’s twins were conceived via in vitro fertilization.
I know that Kelsey Grammar is back in the hospital because he felt faint. This, after a heart attack during which he had two “shocks” to get his heart going again.
I know that Pamela Anderson has been diagnosed with Hepatitis C.

Why are these facts in my brain? Why are they in the news? Why do we feel comfortable making someone’s medical information the subject of casual conversation?

I was aghast when I overheard the following in our company’s cafeteria while waiting in line at the cashier station:

Customer: Wow, It’s nice to see you back.

Cashier: Thank you, it is good to be back.

Customer: Were you on vacation?

Cashier: No, I was out ill.

Customer: Oh, that is a long time to be sick.

Cashier: Yes.

Customer: So, was it just a really bad cold?

Cashier: No, I was pretty sick.

Customer: Well, what was wrong?

Cashier: I would rather not discuss it.

Customer: Why not, I want to know why you were out.

Me: What was the price on those yummy peaches?

While I don’t think the customer was purposely being rude, I do feel that the current environment can cause us to expect instant information on anything we want to know. Can’t get an answer? Google it! Someone is bound to have the answer, or at least pretend to.

I must admit, I like a little mystery. I don’t want to know exactly what disease the food service employee had; just like I don’t really want to know the details of sausage construction. To be clear, this is not a rant on people telling me too much about themselves. If you want to share something personal, you just go ahead, let it flow. I just don’t understand why someone would pry into the medical details of another person that they only know casually. Does this same woman turn to her co-worker and ask “how was your bowel movement this morning”? Does she ask her supermarket checker if she ever had that “not so fresh feeling”? Does she ask her barista if he has gotten screened for STDs?

I have an idea. Everyone, on my signal, let’s all take a giant step back, and then breathe. Mmmm, isn’t that better? Doesn’t a little personal space feel good? Now, let’s focus on those awful shoes she was wearing when she asked all those questions. That is really the more important issue, isn’t it?

Whatever Happened to Thank You Notes?

I know we are in the electronic age and snail mail is soooo sloooow.  But really, how nice is it to get a small envelope in your mailbox.  It is hand addressed and may have a funny or pretty stamp on it.  You open the envelope to find a handwritten note expressing gratitude for something you did.  You may not have even done it on purpose.  Don't you get a tingle in your heart?  Isn't it great that someone went to all that trouble just to thank you?

I remember spending many evenings, after a holiday or birthday party, writing thank you notes for all my Barbie Dolls, spyro-graphs, sweaters, and delicious treats.  Of course Mom never let me in on the secret that you don't have to write a Thank You Note if you opened the gift in front of the giver.  But it became a enjoyable task when Mom reminded me how fun it was to get a real letter in the mail.  I can still hear her voice, "You have to to send mail to get mail".

With the advent of email, there is more chances to express gratitude, but more options can often cause more questions.  When is it appropriate to thank via email instead of US Mail?  For me, it depends on the situation.  If the gift was given via email, then I will thank via email.  If the gift or service was in person or through the mail, then I will thank via US Mail.  Can I just send an email to a mass distro list?  Um...no.   

Now I must confess that I have still not finished the Thank You Notes for my wedding in November.  I stopped at "S".  I will soldier on at some point, I promise.  Until then, I have another note to write:

Dear BlogHer08 Attendees,

I am writing to thank you for making me feel so welcome and supported.  Your encouragement and smiles made this outsider feel right at home.  Whenever I ran into one of you, there was a sparkle in your eye, mischief in your smile, and a card ready to be offered.

Specifically, thank you to Shark-Fu and MorningsideMom for sitting with me on breakfast on the first day and continuing to check in and chat throughout the rest of the weekend.  Switching tables was made fun by folks like camcune who offered materials from her Online Journalism class to guide my path and Ruth of the Fabulous Geezersisters who inspired my cousinblog, Viva's Girls.

And, most of all, enormous bushels of gratitude to Lisa Stone of BlogHer.  It was you who planted these seeds in my brain.  Your love and support for both personal and professional growth have made this kind of risk feel safe and easy.  I still want to grow up to be you.

Sincerely,

Zanaru